Breaking the Ice

13 04 2008

So, it’s officially been one week since everythings happened….well…I still don’t know what I’m going to do. He lied to me. He flat out lied to me, for two years!!! Two years!! 95% of relationships don’t even last that long…I just…I’m just dumbfounded…I get so upset every time I think about it.


We still haven’t kissed. I don’t let him touch me in bed. He normally comes to bed about 2 hours after me, and climbs in under the cover and slides over to my side of the bed and wraps his arms around me…use to be the most wonderful feeling on earth…now, he knows not to, he knows I don’t want to be that close to someone I’m not sure I can trust….I mean, we’ve had problems before…we’ve fought before (what couple hasn’t), but he’s never betrayed my trust like he did this time…


I have let him hug me, of course, I haven’t hugged back, I just haven’t fought him off like I did a week ago.


Well, went to bed tonight, about 11. He asked if he could hold me. And he actually opened up to me, about how he’s disappointed in himself, and how he didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand…he’s not trying to hurt me…we started snuggling and things got kind of physical. Clothes came off and although no actual intercourse happened you could say we had sex or lovemaking or how ever you want to put it. Very seldom with us, does intercourse actually occur…many other ways to pleasure each other…we went to sleep curled up in each others arms.