A Little Humor

8 06 2008

Hi, I am Ann, and I am addicted to Ebay…and by being addicted to Ebay, you will be amazed the crazy bizarre things you can find for sale on ebay…so here’s a fun selection that I thought you might enjoy…and these were all active when I found them, so if you move fast, they may still be up for auction in case you’re interested in purchasing any of them…. (Item descriptions, as stolen from the auction are in blue, the pictures I also stole from the ebay auctions)

 

Rare – Chipped penny

I have never seen a chipped penny –

The year of the penny is 1999

I would love to pay off my mortgage so be sure to bid high – Actually, I would really like to pay my mortgage, my mom’s, my sister’s and also buy my younger sister a house.

 

Seriously?? Where the hell have you been if you’ve never seen a chipped penny…and secondly, a chipped penny is only worth…oh, a penny, and possibly less, because it’s damaged…so why would I possibly bid high enough to pay off your mortage?? Much less your entire family’s.

 

 

Duck Shaped Cheeto.  Opened the bag and pulled it out.. Thought it was cute!

 

I am blond, I’ll admit, but I don’t see that it really looks like a duck…and look at the date on the picture, it’s from 2003…a 5 year old cheeto…ewwww…. And if the duck isn’t your thing, I also found a cheeto shaped like the letter V , a cat, Italy and a Thumbs up…apparently, Cheetos are very popular.

 

HERE IS A CHANCE TO OWN THE LARGEST, MOST EXPENSIVE MARSHMALLOW EVER (that I can find on the internet:). THIS ENORMOUS MARSHMALLOW IS OVER 8 INCHES TALL, OVER 11 INCHES ACROSS, AND WEIGHS NEARLY 25 POUNDS! Of all the things you could spend your money on, this is the best! Put it on display, tell your friends, or launch it at your friends with a catapult! (catapult not included:) Just check out these pictures! And, if the bid goes over $25,000, I will throw in the original recipe that started it all, even though the recipe got burned on the edges and has marshmallow on it:) Comes shipped in the big pot it was made in!

 

I’m a marshmallow fan, but 25,000 (or the starting bid of 20k)?? I can think of many many many better things to spend that money on…even if it comes with a pot and a recipe…and the funny thing…the seller, only has 1 positive review…would I really send 25k to someone who has been on ebay a week?? I think not.

 

I am auctioning off an area of my leg with the intention of applying a portrait tattoo of the winning bidder. The work will be done by none other than Joseph L. Schmo of Columbus Tattoo Company fame (Work featured below). The cost of the portrait will be paid by myself, and I require only a picture to be tattooed (via email) where the face is roughly the size of the palm of a hand. Proof of the tattoo’s completion will be provided via pictures or video clip, or both if you prefer. Aside from that, feel free to make whatever funny face or vulgar hand sign you wish. Any text you want tattooed beneath it is acceptable. This should be fun.

 

Fun? I don’t know about that…I’m not sure I really want a complete stranger having my face tattooed to his leg…If I really wanted that I’d save the 5k and get a prisoner for a pen pal…I’m sure they’d be more than accommodating to get a tattoo of me on there leg.

 

 

THIS AUCTION  IS FOR A CUSTOM MADE STAINLESS STEEL MALE CHASTITY TUBE.   THE DESIGN WILL BE THE SAME AS THE PICTURE SHOWN BUT WINNING BIDDER WILL CHOOSE BASE RING SIZE AS WELL AS TUBE DIAMETER AND LENGTH. SIZE SHOWN IS 1 1/2″ TUBE THAT IS ABOUT 2 1/2″ LONG WITH A 1 7/8″ BASE RING.   THE BASE RING IS OVAL SHAPED AND NOT ROUND. I HAVE FOUND THAT AND OVAL RING IS MUCH MORE SECURE TO PREVENT PULLING OUT THE BACK. WITH EVEN MORE ADDED SECURITY OF A 1/2″ FLAT RING.  ITEM IS SANDED SMOOTH ON THE INSIDE AND POLISHED ON THE OUTSIDE. BUILT FOR 24/7 WEAR. EACH ITEM IS MADE INDIVIDUALLY AND MAY HAVE SLIGHT DIFFERENCES. IT IS MADE OF 100% 304 STAINLESS INCLUDING THE MIG WELDS. I HAVE HAD SEVERAL BUYERS EMAIL ME THAT MY DESIGNS ARE BETTER MADE THAN ANY OTHER THEY HAVE PURCHASED.

I HAVE BEEN MAKING METAL ART FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND HAD ONE OF MY PEICES IN A NEW YORK ARE EXHIBIT. PLEASE CONTACT ME WITH ANY QUESTION YOU MAY HAVE. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

SELLER IS NOT RESPONSABLE FOR ANY INJURIES, ILLNESS, OR ACCIDENTS FROM ANY USE OF THIS ITEM.   LOCK NOT INCLUDED

 

Really, I’m not sure if anything needs to be said on this one….oh, but if you are interested in purchasing this item…it is a private auction, so no one will know your identity…kind of them huh??

 

 

FREAK THREE NUT PEANUT – TRIPLE – 3 NUTS!

Check out this peanut….a freak of nature?  Or a highly evolved mutant peanut?

Will all peanuts eventually have three nuts instead of two?  Or is this the work of genetics and growth hormones?

Who knows, but you can own this wonderful natural oddity….just make an offer and you can add it to your collection of weird and wonderful stuff.

 

 I know I’m in the peanut capital of the world, but seriously…this is not abnormal…especially not $195 abnormal…who hasn’t seen a peanut with three nuts in it?? Now a man with three nuts…that I may pay 200 bucks to see. (wrong, I know…but funny)

 

 

Airline Barf Bag for Motion Discomfort – NEW

Be the first on your block to enhance your Barf Bag collection with this addition from a recent flight I took. Never be unprepared when the risk of kinetosis (motion sickness) hits you on board. This can depend on several factors: the amount and quality of food provided, the size of plane and flying altitude, local climatic conditions, and the type of passengers (or what they were doing hours before). This bag has a box bottom and a peel-off sticky strip at the top of the bag to prevent nasty spills. I can assure you, this bag is brand new and has never been used.

 

Well, I’m glad that it’s never been used…that would be kind of gross…and who has a “Barf Bag collection”??? And the worst part, 15 people have bid on it, it’s up to $65.00

 

 

ALIVE! FX remote controlled Chimpanzee

 

Dont know much about this item other than its WEIRD! Its a robotic, remote controlled life-size chimpanzee head. Its eyes move and blink, its head turns, it mouth works and even has programmable “monkey” sounds. Sensors in it allow it to follow your hand movements in “alive” mode. Tip of antenna has been broken off on remote but can be unscrewed & replaced, reception still works at closer ranges. What more can I say?……….Its just so realistic that its WEIRD! Operates on one 9 volt and four D cell batteries. (not included)

 

Nothing to say except that thing looks VERY creepy…

 

And last but defiantly not least, you can bid on a human soul…that’s right, you read it right…a human soul (hey, devil, you listening???) and just in case you don’t believe me…just keep reading…unfortunately though…they didn’t post a picture, and I was told you should never buy an item without a picture…

 

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A ONE OF A KIND HUMAN SOUL!!!

THE SOUL IS FROM ME AND MY NAME IS STOCKON….

I AM 5ft 9″

brown silky hair

rock solid body

blue eyes!

 

I didn’t know souls had bodies…so, how do they have hair, and eyes…and how can they be 5 foot 9???

 

So, class, what 2 important lessons have we learned today??? #1…your life is really not that bad, you could be selling cheetos on ebay to pay your mortage, and #2 if you are ever bored, and life has you down, just check out ebay for a great, free, non-health hazardous (but slightly addictive) pick-me-up.

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