The Marines

6 07 2008

THOSE SNEAKY MARINES…….. Look Closely At The Pictures Below….. Keep looking (If You Need to Enlarge the Picture, Just Click on it)

See it now?

If a Muslim sees a naked woman — they are supposed to kill themselves.Ya gotta love
the Marines. If you don’t stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in
front of them.





Prison vs Work

5 07 2008

IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK: you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK: They are called managers.





It’s Independence Day!

4 07 2008




Donation

3 07 2008

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing Is moving north or south.   

Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, ‘What happened, what’s the hold up?’

 

 


Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Rosie O’Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.   

They are asking for a $10 million ransom.


Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.  

We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.’


The driver asks, ‘On average, how much is everyone giving?’


 ‘About a gallon.’





Why Does it Have To Be Right or Wrong?

2 07 2008

This was on of my favorite childhood songs, and I just recently heard it on the radio and thought I’d share.





Breakfast At The White House

1 07 2008
Vice President Cheney and President Bush are having breakfast 
at the White House. An attractive female server asks Cheney 
what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal
and some fruit." "And what can I get for you, Mr. President?",
the server asks. The President looks up from his menu and 
replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about 
a quickie this morning?" "Why, Mr. President!" the woman 
exclaims, "How rude! You're starting to 
act like President Clinton," and the woman storms away.
Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers...........
"It's pronounced "quiche."