21 06 2008

So, it’s another Saturday morning of awe-inspiring blogging written from my front porch here in good ol’ Chesapeake, Virginia. I’m feeling very optimistic this morning…got a good nights sleep, am eyeing the house work I have to get done, and I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as I thought, of course I am hoping to start tackling the den which is piled up with stuff, but between this weekend and next Sunday I’m hoping to have a futon and end table in there to make a makeshift guest room for my mom while she comes to visit for a week, should be an interesting week.

I live in an older neighborhood, not a ran down neighborhood and not one of those revived neighborhoods, but an established neighborhood… and as I set on my porch stoop and look out there is one house that just pokes out, you just can’t help but notice…because it’s so damn perfect…so perfect in fact, it’s dull. Two medium sized trees in the front yard, 3 little bushes in front of the house, each the same size as the next, and practically exactly the same shape, the yard which is perfectly manicured and completely green, and I mean green, green, like your yard is in the spring for those few precious perfect weeks when it’s just naturally growing well, and green. The white trim & stair case railing is WHITE, not grayish or was white and has a little dirt on it, it’s white, perfectly white…the brick is the color that only new brick can be…the house was built 4 years ago, and it looks as though it were just finished yesterday…and in side, is Mr. and Mrs. Perfect along with baby Perfect. I know, I know, no one is perfect…but you just have to see them to really believe it…he’s a military guy, yet, is always home in time for dinner, and he’s never on deployment…hmm…I’m still wondering how he manages that…she, is now a stay at home mom, so he’s apparently doing pretty well. She gets up early and takes the baby stroller and goes for a walk, and always looks nice and neatly dressed, not annoyingly over dressed, but in normal clothes, yet they look perfect on her… He always looks nice in khaki shorts and either polo shirts or button down shirts that always look fresh from the dry cleaners, yet I never see them bring in dry cleaning…Mrs. Perfect, no doubt. They have a family dinner every night and then go for a walk around the neighborhood taking the baby along and chatting about their perfect day…they wave at all the neighbors “Oh, aren’t they just the perfect little family.” I hear as I drive by on my home from work, and think how easy it’d be to have dinner on the table at 5 if I wasn’t working, at all…but less 45 hours a week. ..she doesn’t seem to shop a whole lot, but every Saturday when she goes to the grocery store, either he goes along or the moment she pulls up in the drive way he rushes out to grab all the groceries…they almost never really smile, yet always give off that vibe of happiness…and they never brag about being happy, even though the vibe is so strong you can smell it…and he wears sandals…and doesn’t even have creepy man feet…strange actually…he could almost be a foot model…and that means something coming from me…feet are creepy, but ecspecially man feel.


The odd thing is, part of me really likes Mr. and Mrs. Perfect…they are the kind of people you just want to be friends with so you can in someway be closer to perfection…and then the other part of you, the evil part, wants to be friends with them so you can see inside their house and see if they are really as perfect as they seem….I’m sure they must fight sometimes, but, I never see it…never a hint of it…no one has ever stormed out of the house mad, they never seem annoyed when you say hello, or as you randomly sit on the porch unnoticed…and watch their every move…wondering…can they really be so perfect, yet the proof is there…but obviously I don’t have all the facts…


Suddenly, the other day, as I was watching the Perfect baby #1 (apparently #2 is on the way, according to a friend of the Old Hag’s) take some of his first steps across the yard trying to come see our puppy…and trying to make cute like whoofing sounds…They may be perfect, but my god their life is dull…there is no passion coming from over there across the street…My flower beds aren’t as perfectly manicured as theirs…my plants are each growing in their own unique way, and I let them…as long as they stay confined to the flower bed (which at the moment isn’t a problem)…our front porch has some dirt on it…but ever few weeks we sweep it off and make sure there are no dead leaves or sticks on it…about 2 times a year J pressure washes it, just for good measure…our lawn has a few bald spots in it, and one of my solar lights leans a little to the left (or right depending on what side of the porch you are looking from) J and I fight sometimes and one of us will storm out and going else where for our customary cool down sessions…our cars aren’t new, in fact, our newest one is a 98 Ford Taurus which is getting ready to break down every day….our garden hose is almost NEVER put up the way it should be…and out chair cushions pretty much have found a home draped over the porch banister, so when it rains on them, they are already hung up to dry…We’re not perfect by a long shot, but you know, I wouldn’t trade it for Mr. and Mrs. Perfect…I’d like to keep a few fireworks in my life…

My Driving Pet Peeve

8 05 2008

I’d like to think of my self as a pretty patient person…however; I have one pet peeve that truly drives me ABSOLUTELY crazy!! Turn signals…really it’s a very easy concept…but since, so much of America seems to not be able to use them properly…let’s go over a couple of things….


1.      Turn signals are meant to warn other motorist that you are about to turn, therefore, you’d be slowing down or stopping and possibly causing the rest of the traffic to be slowing down or stopping…it is 100% completely pointless to turn on your turn signal AFTER you’ve stopped…if you’re already stopped, I’ve already slammed on the brakes to stop…the signal is suppose to cause me to not have to slam on the brakes…don’t stop and THEN turn on the signal…Signal, then stop!!!!

2.      When trying to change lanes, instead of slowing down and trying to squeezzzeee into a spot…but on your signal, it lets other motorist know you want over, and then, they’ll probably be nice enough to either slow down or speed up a little, in order to let you over…and if you’re changing lanes, put on your signal BEFORE you start to cut me off…that a way, I know you’re a crazy maniac…and I can get out of your way!!!


Not sure why this is so hard for people!! But it really did feel good to get that off my chest.

F**king, Blogging and our Society

7 05 2008

(If you have a blog on, you can skip this first paragraph) On when you have a blog, you have what’s called a “dashboard” and basically it’s your homepage, that let’s you write new post and edit the old ones and it also has Blog Stats, which shows you how many people visit each post, and what sites referred them to your blog. Like, if it was a google search it’ll show you what the person searched for in order to get to your page, or if they were referred from another page, it’ll show you what web address referred them.


I’ve always found the Blog Stats very interested…it’s very intriguing to see what the rest of the world is searching for…it’s a way of being a fly on the wall, while people are web searching…Now, the reason I bring this up is a few weeks ago I did a post named Lovemaking vs F**king….now, that was on April 15th …I’m still getting people linking up to it…you’d be amazed how many people are searching for “Fucking” on the internet…kind of scary…in fact, that link has got more than 3 times more hits than any other page on my blog…hmmm…


…and then I had one, where someone had googled (and I’m paraphrasing here) that she’d slept with someone on the third date and wants to know if he loves her (and I won’t even get started on how to properly search for stuff…that much info in a search block, I’m amazed you ever found ANYTHING relevant…Any whoo)…now, first off…no one loves anyone on date #3…you don’t know each other well enough for that…J and I knew each other for almost 2 years before we started dating, and by date 3, I still would not have said it was love…lust maybe, interest maybe, but not love….2nd off, if you really want a shot at a real relationship…you should probably be evaluating the relationship BEFORE you sleep with him…as the old cliché goes, why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free…very much applies here…besides, if you’re not sure what the relationships status is…really really, let me advise against sleeping with the guy…until you figure it out…if all he wants in a bed-buddy, and you’re good with that…then by almost pursue, however, if you’re interested in more, and he’s not…then end it now…it’ll save you pain later on….and no matter what you’re thinking…women are really bad at keeping things “Just Physical”…we really do have a tendency to get emotionally involved…trust me, I’ve tried…didn’t work…fortunately, it worked out in the end, I’m friends with the guy…but my sleeping together twice…we almost ruined a great friendship, before it ever really got started…just don’t do it!!!


I also have a lot of people who apparently have been hurt by their spouses addictions to pornography (for my frequent readers you know my ex-husband had that problem)…for them, all I can say, is my heart goes out to you…I can’t really give you any advice, except to follow your heart…if you think your spouse can work with you to change your relationship and to stop their addiction, then by all means go for it…but if deep down you know, that it’s never going to work out (I would have fallen into this  category), then do yourselves both a favor and end it now.


What really scares me, is that I have so very few people that link to my website by tag words like “love” or “relationship” or “happiness” or any of those other happy words…they find my blog by “sex” and “fucking”…I think it says something about the world we are living it…maybe if we spent more time working on our relationships and trying to find love, instead of some one to fuck…maybe, just maybe this world would be a much much better place.


(Psssttt…for anyone out there trying to get their blog some more traffic…add in the words fuck and sex…and you’d be amazed how much traffic you’d get 😉