It’s History, Just Let It Go

19 04 2008

My family…well, where to begin…My uncle, we’ll call him George…him and my mother have never gotten along…from the stories ever heard, even when they were kids they didn’t get along…more so, than just normal sibling squabbles…This bugs me, mostly, because, well, they won’t let it go…well in all fairness, my mother, just doesn’t really like people, but she never talks about my uncle (his wife, yes, but that I’ll save for a little later)…I still hear stories about how my mother “stole” George’s truck one night and went out joy riding with her friends, and then returned it with a dent, I’m not sure if she offered to pay to have it fixed…heck, she may have taken it herself, later, to get it fixed, I don’t know…it’s a one-sided story…I also get told about how she’d borrow his truck and return it with an empty tank of gas…annoying, yes…but seriously, get over it…Now, these stories all took place before she had three kids…she had my older brother at 18…so even assuming someone was babysitting my brother, all of this happened when she was in her late teens…she’s now 45…so seriously, time for people just to let it go already… I think my mom, was probably pretty wild as a kid/teen…but somewhere in there she decided it was time to grow up, she had 3 kids to raise…that’s why she ditched my father (also more on that later)…

 

My aunt (the evil aunt), George’s wife, is a bitch. There really is just no other way to put it…and let me tell you people, I don’t use that word loosely…if you knew me in person, you’d know that I NEVER say that word, except when it comes to her…she told me once when I was 12 or 13 that she’d fix up a room for me and let me move in because my mother was so mean to me…now, my mother being mean to me…where’d she get that? Well, because I’d vent about her to my granny (who lived with them at the time) and my aunt would be in the room, she thought I was talking to her and my granny, really, I was just stuck with the aunt…But at 12…most teenage girls don’t get along with there mother…I didn’t get along with much of anyone at that age…it’s your rebellion starting…and the last thing an aunt should say, is let me move you in…now maybe, you can come visit any time you need to get a way or, you can come over or call and talk any time you need…even at 12 I knew what she said was wrong…she just has always wanted a daughter, she has 2 sons, and for a very long time she had no other nieces, so…she kept trying to “adopt” me…for Christmas she loved going shopping for me, I’d get all kinds of stuff, my brothers would get a few boring things…nothing really great…I hated that…I’m a protective sister…even if my little brother has been bigger than me since we were in middle school, and even though my older brother is 4 years older than me…I want what’s best for my brother’s…I don’t want to be treated special from them…being born female should give me no special rights or privileges over them…(first time you’ve heard a female say that, huh? I can hear the feminist crying now)…Part of my hatred for her started then.

 

Then she kicked my mother out of her house one time, I don’t even remember what for…I just remember them fighting and my mother saying “Let’s go, we’re not welcome here.” That may have been the time my aunt accused my mother of trying to sabotage her disability benefits…My aunt is not at all disabled…a little mental, or depressed, maybe, but not disabled, she’s lazy…she’s fine if it’s something she wants to do, but she doesn’t want to work…she remodels her house about ever year and a half…I mean really remodels…she’s strips all the cabinets and repaints them…she redoes the counter tops…all by herself…disabled? I think not….Anyways, she told my mother one time that the Social Security office had received an anonymous letter from someone proving that she was not disabled…and (oh it gets so much better than that…)that the social security office gave her a copy of the surveillance tape, and she could tell that it was my mother who went in to the office and gave them that letter….now come on…how many federal office do you know that just give up surveillance tapes?? And at the time, my mother was student teaching and working full-time, while raising the three of us…when would she have had time??

 

What really bugs me though…is they are so much against my mother that begins to effect everyone else, specifically my granny…they are so against helping each other, that they don’t want to help my granny because they think it might help my mother…that’s just wrong.

 

That’s part of why I’m so stressed over this party…they spent my whole childhood judging how my mom raised us…they thought everything she did was wrong…I may not have agreed with everything she did, but she did a pretty damn good job of raising us….none of us are in prison, or knocked up living in trailer parks, so we’ve done better than 65% of our high school….but I know that they will judge everything about this party…and that’s part of why I want it to be so perfect (besides that, I’m a perfectionist)…because I know they’re going to talk…and I want to them to have only nice things to say…even though I know, even if they like it they’re going to say “With her for a mother, I don’t know how that child turned out so well.”…I’ve heard it before, and I smile to myself, because I know that they were wrong, they’ve been wrong, and we’ve risen above that…I’m a much better person than they are…but damn it, I still want everything to be perfect next Saturday….but more importantly, I wish they would all just get over it…just move on and let the past go.





My First Blog!

1 04 2008

Okay, so my first official blog…ummm…. where to begin…so much to tell…Well, I am by nature a very private person, so the whole blogging concept, is going to be kind of hard to get the hang of, but I’m going to do my best…. I guess I should probably start with some of the basics about me.

I’m a 24-year-old female who grew up in a small little town outside of Blacksburg, VA…yep Virginia Tech…that Blacksburg…I grew up with a single mom and two brothers; I’m in the middle. My older brother is David, and he’s…. 27 (I’m pretty sure.) And my little brother, John is 22…. I’ve always been much closer to my little brother, but love them both very much…my mom pretty much spent the last 20 some years raising us, pretty much on her own, my grandmother (or Granny) helped out a lot, but my father was pretty much MIA…my step mother tried quite a bit to make him be a good father, but, you can’t really make someone do that…he use to pay 75 dollars a month for child support for us, yep 75 total…so we were nearly always struggling…my mom worked full-time and tried to attend school as much as possible, and although I had a happy childhood, there was a lot of basic things that were missing, most of the time our heat didn’t work, we had a kerosene heater we kept in our kitchen and we huddle around in winter, or sometimes the stove, but electricity was expensive so, normally the kerosene heater…we’d have the smell of kerosene baked into us, and no matter how much scrubbing, you couldn’t make it go away…the electricity only worked in half of our trailer…we could never afford to have someone come fix it…or find out why it didn’t work…our front steps were rotting through, and there was no one to help fix them…our cars always had problems…and I learned a lot about being self-sufficient…to this day I am the only girl I know who can charge her oil or a flat…we were poor, there is no denying, but I learned so much from that, and that’s what I want to share here…you must be thankful for what you have, no matter how unfortunate  you may think your life is.

Well…like I said, I grew up in a very small south western Virginia town (very rural area) and when I graduated high school moved to a pretty large coastal city…. I moved there because my (now) ex-husband was in the Navy and I was sick of having a long distance relationship with him, so I packed up and moved 6 hours away from home to be with him, well…obviously that didn’t work out so well, but I love the area I’m in, and don’t plan on going anywhere…. I well address that whole ex-husband thing in another blog….

I am actually in the process of moving in with my boyfriend of two years, we’ll call him J…. oh and just for the record, all the names above have been changed…I won’t use any real names of people in my life…that a way they stay anonymous also…but back to J…. he’s a fantastic man, and really enough great things could never be said about him, unfortunately right now he’s sick, so he’s not a very pleasant person to be around, but then again, most people aren’t pleasant when they’re sick…but anyways, he’s 42 years old, yep 18 years difference, which, well, you’ll soon see in future post, that it really is not that bad of a thing.

So, I graduated high school and moved away from home and have earned my Associate’s degree in general studies…and now, well, I’m not 100% sure what I want to do…you see, I’ve always loved writing, so I was considering going into journalism, but, that’s an extremely competitive field, and either you’re great, or you don’t have much of a future…so I considered business…I’m pretty good at it, right now I work in a car electronics shop and I’ve handled everything from payroll and inventory to personnel matters and scheduling, so I’ve got a pretty good grasp of it, but I happen to work around a lot of 40-somethings who hate there job and can’t really go anywhere else, because that’s all they know…so I want to do something I love…and I love food, I love to cook and I love to try new stuff, but if I become a chef, well they work all kinds of strange hours and it’d be kind of hard to have a family and never be home at night, on weekends or holidays…which is when people eat out and therefore chefs have to be working…so, I’m considering food writing, but we’ll see how that turns out…